Follow ABCDEF
Avoid gossip or blame:
It’s tempting to start dishing out gossip or pointing fingers, especially when tensions are high. But resist the urge! Stay focused on the behaviour or action you want to address. Blaming others won’t lead to productive solutions.
Boundaries:
Before chatting the weird out, take a moment to check in with yourself. What topics make you squirm? What personal info are you not keen on sharing? If you feel that a conversation becomes too intrusive, try:
- Redirecting the conversation: ‘I’d prefer not to discuss…’
- Saying No- ‘I’m not comfortable sharing that information’
- Remember, No is also a full sentence by itself.
Care about the other person’s perspectives:
Empathy is your secret weapon when chatting the weird out. Behind every weird behavior lies a story waiting to be heard. Maybe they’re dealing with family drama, stress from work or study, or simply trying to make ends meet. Taking the time to understand where they’re coming from can make it a lot easier to reach a resolution!
Deliberate listening leads to understanding:
Ever find yourself zoning out during a heated discussion, just waiting for your turn to speak? That’s probably a lot more common habit than you think! Here’s the thing: true understanding comes from active listening. Be curious and focus on what the other person is saying (not just what you’re itching to say); listen to listen, don’t listen to respond. Look out for things you agree on! Mirroring their words back to them and asking clarifying questions can help you make sure you understand them properly, which can help you resolve the awkwardness!
Evaluate your triggers
We’ve all got triggers—those little things that can turn our mood from calm to chaos. Sometimes they’re tied to past experiences or fears we didn’t even know we had. Awkward convos can be a trigger for many of us.
When chatting the weird out, it’s crucial to recognize the signs that you’re being triggered. Your heart might race, your cheeks flush, and your muscles tense up. You might also show some of these signs:
- Fight signs: You’re ready to throw hands, feeling angrier or more aggressive than usual.
- Flight signs: All you want to do is bolt, escape, or leave the situation ASAP.
- Freeze signs: You’re mentally checking out, feeling confused, drained, or unable to respond.
If you feel triggered mid-conversation, it’s okay to hit pause. Your brain needs time to switch off its fight, flight, or freeze mode before you can tackle the situation with clarity. Just say something like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Can we take a break and revisit this later?”
After the conversation, take a breather and think about what triggered you. Maybe someone’s comment hit a nerve, like when they told you to “just chill out,” echoing your mom’s dismissive tone. Or perhaps it was when they blamed you for something, igniting a deep-seated frustration. Understanding your triggers helps you to notice them and manage them better in the future.
Find time for self-care: Let’s face it— even when chatting the weird has a positive outcome, it can still leave you feeling emotionally drained. That’s why self-care is non-negotiable. Whether it’s zoning out to your favourite playlist, wrapping yourself up in a cozy blanket, or venting to your best mate, do whatever it takes to recharge your batteries and bounce back stronger than ever. If you know you’re about to have a tough or weird conversation, it might be worth preparing some intentional self-care time afterward.
Armed with these tips, you’ll be ready to tackle even the most cringe-worthy conversations with grace, empathy, and maybe even a sprinkle of humour. Go you!