So, you need to chat the weird out, but are not sure where to start? Having a possibly awkward conversation can be daunting, but with preparation, it can feel less intimidating.
- Head space
Chatting the Weird Out can be scary, so take care of yourself first to reduce stress. If you are wondering if you should be having this conversation, read our Do I need to Chat the Weird Out article! Now take a deep breath and get ready to Chat the Weird Out.
- Set clear goals
Figure out what you want to achieve and what your ideal outcome is. Having clear objectives will help steer the chat in the right direction. Ask yourself, is this chat going to be productive? Avoid unhelpful objectives like trying to make someone feel bad or proving you’re ‘right’. Instead, aim for helpful objectives like setting healthy boundaries or preventing harmful behaviours.
- Preparation is key
Plan what to say and how to say it helpfully. Write it down and revisit it the next day. Try predicting how they may respond, and craft some responses to keep the conversation respectful and on track. To keep yourself on topic, have your main points and key phrases written on your phone, computer, or printed paper. Overall, if you are feeling lost with this whole process, ask for help! A friend, family member, or counsellor who is removed from the situation may be able to help you craft your words. If you know you easily get lost in your thoughts or emotional during those tough conversations, try to write it down and read it out to prepare yourself. This may not be practical for every talk, but it is for most of them.
- Practice
Practice out loud or in front of a mirror. Yes, I know it feels odd, but it helps! If you don’t want to do it in front of a mirror you can record yourself on your phone and watch it back. Use your notes while you practice. This will also help you figure out if what you’ve prepared sends the right message when said out loud.
- Time and place
It is kind to avoid having tough conversations at a bad time, like 30 minutes before they sit a test, or while they are already going through something, such as a breakup or a death in the family. It is best to find a moment when you can both chat without distractions and where there isn’t a tight timeframe.
Once you have the ‘when’ it is time to decide the ‘where’. Try to have the conversation in person, over the phone, or video chat to lessen the chance of a misunderstanding; we miss so much cues by only reading texts. If chatting remotely, be sure they are in a safe space like their home, rather than an awkward place like public transport. If chatting in person, meet where you both feel safe and if possible, in private. And finally, have an exit strategy so that you can both process the outcome, or so you can leave on your own terms if the chat doesn’t go according to plan (for more on this check out our What to do it it goes wrong page).
- Emotionally prepare again.
Now you are armed with an action plan, you know what to say and the right time/place to say it. All that is left is to Chat the Weird Out. This is one final opportunity to take a deep breath and mentally prepare, before you walk in the door for a possibly awkward conversation. You got this! And if you still feel like you don’t got this, here is a Chat the Weird Out playlist to hype you up!