Going to the gym is a place to unwind, destress, or work towards our personal goals. We know hitting the gym is an exhilarating experience, but let’s face it, sometimes unwanted attention, unsolicited advice, or invasion of personal space can throw us off our game. These experiences can often feel like a workout in itself and should not deter you from going to the gym. Here is the ultimate guide to navigating these experiences and staying focused to achieve your fitness goals!
The Problem: Unwanted Attention
First, let’s tackle the problem: Unwanted Attention. The gym can feel vulnerable in different ways. Remember that we have the right to feel safe and respected in the space and should not feel intimidated or uncomfortable while working out.
Now, what does unwanted attention look like?
Imagine this: you are hitting a new PB (personal best) on the bicep curl, and a nearby gym-goer comes over and corrects your form, pointing out what you are doing wrong. This comment can cause self-consciousness when trying new things or make you feel unqualified to be at the gym. Unwanted attention undermines inclusive and supportive atmospheres that gym culture should strive for, and that could lead to a toxic gym environment, which we don’t want.
It is completely OK to ask for consent to spot someone if they seem to be struggling and give advice when addressed. Just remember that it can take a lot of courage for someone to ask for help and feel extra vulnerable to putting themselves out there and doing something new. After all, the gym is a safe place for everyone to try something new and work on themselves!
So, what is the best way to handle unsolicited attention?
If someone tries to give unsolicited advice, being assertive but empathetic is the most effective strategy. We understand that this may feel anxious or confronting, but here are some phrases we can use:
- “Thank you, but I’m fine”.
- “I appreciate your advice, but I’m comfortable with my current approach.”
- “I appreciate that you’re trying to be helpful, but I’m happy with doing this my way”.
The best way to approach this situation is to be assertive but empathetic. Remember, people giving advice may not intend for it to be malicious. However, if they don’t get the hint or if their advice is completely wrong, try to:
- Set firm boundaries.
Clearly communicate boundaries to let the person know their interference is still unwelcome. Try this phrase:
“I’ve mentioned before that I prefer to work out alone. Please respect my space and let me focus on my routine.”
- Remove yourself from the situation.
If the person makes you uncomfortable after setting boundaries, it might pay to remove yourself from the situation. There will be different areas in the gym where you can continue your workout without unwanted attention.
- Seek assistance from gym staff.
If the individual’s behaviour becomes disruptive or makes you feel uncomfortable, whether that means persistent unwanted attention, invading personal space, or touching you without consent, don’t hesitate to seek help from staff members. Although this may feel intense and scary, the gym is supposed to be a safe space where everyone can work out without unwanted attention.
Here is an example of how to use these prompts step-by-step to navigate unwanted gym attention. Following the example above, the nearby gym-goer is telling you that your bicep curl form is wrong; you could say:
- “Hey, thanks for the advice, but I’m comfortable with my current approach; I am trying out a new PB (personal best).” That is a firm but respectful approach to setting your boundaries.
- If the gym goer continues to comment on your form, you could look around for other workout machines, switch up your workout routine, move on to a different exercise and return to the bicep curls. In larger gyms, there could be another space where you can take your dumbbells to another area and work out.
- In the rare circumstances that the gym-goer follows you and makes you uncomfortable, ask for assistance from the gym staff. Staff members will ensure that the gym is a safe environment for everyone. The key here is your safety.
What’s the best way to help someone if they ARE struggling?
We don’t want to make you feel like you can’t help anyone in the gym. In fact, helping those who are struggling is completely OK! Here are some ways you can help without being weird.
Notice their body language
Body language is important when trying to figure out if someone needs help or not. The example above where the gym-goer is trying to hit a new PB can seem like they are struggling when they are not. So, what is the best way to navigate that?
First, say Hi! To many new gym-goers, the whole gym situation is intimidating and vulnerable. A friendly hello and asking if they are doing OK when approaching them will make a big difference compared to giving unsolicited advice.
Here are some phrases you can say if you see someone struggling or may need help:
- “Hey, are you doing alright?”
- “Hey, did you need some help with putting the plates on?”
- “Can I give you a tip on that?”
- “Would you like me to spot you?”
- “Oh yeah, I love doing bench presses; if you want any pointers, just let me know”
Don’t interrupt their workout
However, it is important to try not to talk to them when they’re in the middle of a set; this is not only distracting, but it could be dangerous as heavy weights or fast-running machines not only have the potential to injure someone but the person will probably be out of breath and not likely to talk freely. Instead, talk when they are in between sets or if you see that they are in danger.
Offer to spot them
If the person agrees they need help or mentions that it is their first time at the gym, you may offer to spot them!
However, if you notice a person struggling with a workout. For example, if the leg press looks like it’s going to crush them, this might be a good time to approach the person and ask if they need a spotter.
Be cool with rejection
Approaching people and asking them if they need help can be scary, too! So well done on wanting to help. Sometimes, people will accept your offer, and others will thank you for your advice but carry on. The key here is to be cool with rejection, even though it can feel awkward. Remember that we can’t force them; we can only offer our assistance.
Case 1: You approach the gym goer, ask if they are doing fine, and offer to spot them, but they decline your offer. Be cool and let them know you are there if they need to. Continue your workout and move on.
Case 2: You approach the gym goer who seems to be struggling, ask them if they are doing fine, and offer to spot, and they say ‘yes.’ Then spot them! If they accept your advice offer, the floor is yours! Make sure to be respectful and empathetic when giving your tips and tricks.
Consent!
At the end of the day, we want to make sure the gym is a safe environment for everyone and their goals. Remember that it can take a lot of courage for someone to ask for help or to go to the gym in the first place! Make sure to approach the gym-goer and do not give unwanted advice or attention; instead, wait until the person is done with the set, calmly approach them and ask if they are doing alright or if you could give them a tip, then respectfully give your advice or offer to spot them on their next set.
You are contributing to a positive and inclusive gym by following these guidelines. The gym is more than following rules; it’s about being conscious of respect, consideration, and kindness. Everyone is sharing this space to work out for their own reasons, especially when university life can consume so much of people’s lives – we want the gym to be a positive place where people can unwind, destress, or work toward their personal goals!