While you are enjoying your life, having fun, meeting new people, and growing your personal development, there are a series of challenges and struggles you may face. While you will make friends for life (or for now), meet new acquaintances or become work besties with some people, you might also meet ‘fake’ friends, sh*t stirrers or just drama makers.
What is drama? It’s a bit of a catch-all term, really. It can mean people who blow things way out of proportion, or it could be about rumors, gossip, and pointless arguments. Basically, drama can be all sorts of stuff that just feels like a headache when you find yourself tangled up in it.
If you’re experiencing drama and it’s lowkey (or high key) getting weird, you can always chat the weird out… But like, how do you chat the weird out without it feeling too weird? Let’s try to take this step-by-step.
Identify the cause of the drama.
Before you jump straight to dealing with the drama, take a step back and view it as a map or a board. Start from the very beginning and identify what led one thing to another. You will start to notice the domino effect playing out; where a situation occurs and it leads one thing to another, like rumours, gossips or conflicts…
To identify the cause of the drama is to also take the time to reflect on others’ behaviour toward the situation, and to self-reflect on your behaviour in the situation. It will allow you to reflect on your thoughts and feelings so that you can take the best approach possible to address it all. Plus, this gives you time to take account of your own actions and the actions of the different people and groups involved.
What’s most important in this stage is developing a full idea of the story and formulating what course of action would you like to take to address the drama and chat the weird out.
How do I address the drama?
Firstly, address the drama from your perspective. This is your opportunity to share your side of the story if you feel it’s important to you and to the people who matter.
If you choose to address the rumours, it is important to recognise that different people may have a different perspective of it all. Not everyone will believe what you said and not everyone will think you are lying. What matters most is that you are taking care of your wellbeing and are addressing what you would like to happen next.
Call out the drama and behaviour in a calm and mature manner. It is not always productive to address the drama with an emotional outburst or aggressive behaviour. If they respond differently and aggressively, that’s ok! If you call out the behaviour nicely you are doing what is best for you and your wellbeing.
Share your perspectives.
Talk about how you feel about the drama and the rumours so that others can see your perspective. When showing your side and how you feel, this can help grow empathy and shared understanding, hopefully making the overall chat smoother.
If you’re listening to someone’s perspective, do not disregard their perspectives and feelings (and hope they do the same to you!) Take the time to exchange dialogue on every perspective to better understand the situation and learn from each other. They might learn from your perspectives too!
Point out what is wrong.
When it comes to rumours and gossiping you might talk about the behaviour and identify what is wrong; tell them why this behaviour is wrong and what behaviour is considered appropriate.
Moving forward.
Each situation has its solution in a form of an agreement, apology, or forgiveness to one another. If all parties are comfortable with the situation and are ready to leave all the mess behind, you can all move forward stronger and better than before. It might also be helpful to also outline boundaries and action plans moving forward.
Remember not to be too hard on yourself, as these types of things (sadly) happen to everyone at one point or another. Instead of focusing on it negatively, try to view it as a valuable learning experience for your future relationships
If things feel too weird, Chat the Weird Out.